Is It Okay to Help My Kid Lose Weight?
Whether you're a parent, caregiver, teacher, or advocate, supporting a child's health means attending to their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. A common concern we hear is: “I’m worried about my child’s weight. Should they lose weight?” It’s natural for parents to feel uneasy when they start to notice changes in their child’s body. That worry often comes from a place of deep care, wanting them to be healthy and happy. And, of course, those feelings are often made even more complicated by the world we live in. There is a lot of conversation about children’s health, specifically how it relates to their body shape or size.
Our society creates a lot of shame around a kid's evolving body and, unfortunately, does not recognize the very normal transitions and transformations that young bodies go through, including weight gain. Understandably, any parent just wants to protect their child’s health and confidence. So, if you’re worried, it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It means you are human, and you care. However, it's crucial to recognize that intentional weight loss is NOT safe for growing children, in more ways than one.
Why Intentional Weight Loss for Kids is Not Safe
1. Bodies are MEANT to change, especially growing ones.
The human body experiences many stages of change from infancy to adulthood, and its growth and development are reliant on the body’s ability to naturally regulate its weight, where it will function most effectively. Puberty is a critical stage for growth and development, and where prominent weight changes are not only expected, they’re essential. At this stage, the body is doing a lot behind the scenes: hormonal shifts, growth spurts, and fat redistribution are all taking place. The body will naturally increase in body fat due to these changes, and actually requires increased body fat for puberty to take place. Body changes and weight gain are necessary and are a sign of healthy growth. Sometimes, bodies don’t grow the way we expect them to, and that doesn’t mean they are “wrong” or “unhealthy.” The change is a sign that their body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.
2. There are serious health consequences from pursuing weight loss in childhood.
When we intentionally try to change or manipulate children’s bodies, even with the kindest intentions, negative outcomes are very likely to occur. As we mentioned before, growth and development are a top concern for children. Restriction can interfere with hormonal health, bone health, cognitive development, and even puberty development.
We also worry about nutritional deficiencies. Kids need a steady stream of energy (macronutrients) and vitamins and minerals (micronutrients) to grow, play, and learn. When those needs aren’t met, the risk of long-term health consequences increases significantly, such as malnutrition and failure to thrive. Psychological implications can also arise from intentional weight loss, in which anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or social isolation are seen to increase due to body image issues or preoccupation with weight.
3. Hyperfocusing on children’s bodies or food choices can have detrimental effects on their relationship with their bodies and food.
Conversations, comments, and a focus on what they’re eating or their appearance create negative implications for children and can stick with them for life. Hyperfocusing on this can quickly create a backlash, while likely well-meaning, could be planting a seed in their minds that they are not good enough, worthy, or valuable because they have gained weight or experienced body changes.
Studies show that kids as young as three start picking up on body talk and, by age six, begin to worry about weight. By the time they’re teens, nearly 70% report trying to lose weight. 1,2 Disordered eating can start young, often flies under the radar, and can quickly escalate into an eating disorder, both of which can have serious implications for an individual’s physical and mental health. If not treated quickly, it could impact them for the rest of their lives.
What If My Child Voices Concerns About Their Body
Validate their feelings: Meet them with validation and understanding. It is a natural concern, especially at their age when their body may be experiencing more changes. Let them know it’s okay to feel uncertain or uncomfortable in their body, especially during times of change.
Open up a dialogue: Gently come with curiosity about what they might be thinking about. What brings up this concern for them? Are other people talking about weight or food (peers, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.) around them? What concerns do they have about their body, and why? Help them name the pressure.
Avoid rushing to “fix”: We know it’s tempting to redirect or problem-solve, but try to stay with them in the feeling for a moment. Let them know their body isn’t broken. There is nothing wrong with a changing and growing body.
Reassure them: All bodies grow and change. That’s true at 6, 16, or 60. Body diversity is real and important. If it feels appropriate, watch Poodle Science together.
Redefine messages: As you continue conversations, revisit their definition of “health”. Unlearning that health is defined by weight is important because the hard truth is that we don’t “control” our weight, and it will change throughout life. Acceptance and respect towards our bodies are avenues that allow us to find peace and connection rather than shame and detachment.
Even if it is well-meaning, the fact is that restriction causes harm. The most protective thing a parent can do is affirm their child’s body, not attempt to change it. Weight changes are common in childhood and are a necessary part of proper growth and development. Nurturing a positive relationship with food and body image is the best thing you can do for your little one, along with providing supportive environments that allow them to exist naturally, as they are. With support and understanding, kids can learn to appreciate their bodies as they grow.
If you're unsure how to navigate body image conversations with your child or want to foster a supportive environment for their physical and emotional growth, a pediatric dietitian nutritionist in Maine can help. At CV Wellbeing, we're here to guide you in creating a healthier, happier journey for both you and your child. Reach out to schedule!
